I have never really thought about what Mother’s Day really meant, if I’m totally honest I’m never really aware it’s coming up until my sister, Laura reminds me. I mean the twins aren’t old enough to make me breakfast in bed and I’ve still got to do the washing. I don’t know, maybe it’s because nothing really changes on Mother’s Day, other than having dinner at Nans on a Sunday instead of a Saturday.
When I started Two of them One of me, I had the idea of doing a Mother’s Day special which meant I had to think about what Mother’s Day signifies for me. It’s then, in that moment I made one of the biggest discoveries of parenting alone, which was “It takes a village to raise a child or two” and fortunately for me I have the most inspirational, strong, hard-working and determined women in my village and today I want to share them with you.
This woman is the depiction of strenght and the back bone of the family. Growing up I was never aware of the struggles Nan faced and for that alone I have the upmost respect. Every day without fail when she would come home from work and we would return from school there was always dinner, a cup of tea and most importantly a smile on her face. It was not until I got older did I began to understand the real blessing that of course was Nanny Linda. Honestly, I need a whole blog post dedicated to her to really show my appreciation. But, what she did and continues to do for us goes above and beyond what is expected of her as a Nan and if I could be a fraction of the Mom, Nan & Great Nan she is, I’d be complete.
All while battling to come to terms with losing our dad, a chronic illness and constant hospital admissions she still did her best. I blocked out most of the beautiful memories I shared with her and in all honesty, I wasn’t the nicest teenage daughter to have.
After having the twin’s, I began to think about different aspects of my life and what I wanted to change. One of the most important things was recognising the importance of having a better relationship with the women who gave me life and remembering some of our most significant memories, like when she home schooled me, our weekly visits to Woolworths to spoil me and most importantly dad’s funeral. She did her best to hold it together to ensure he had the best send-off possible. “Mom, if you feel like no one recognised you that day, I just want to say I did”.
I’m most thankful for her enabling me to do things, most single mothers wouldn’t have the chance too. I was told my life would be over when I had the twins and I truly believe without this women that would have been the case. She is the reason I’m able to attend university if the twins are unwell, why I’m able to take holidays and trips alone and above all else why I am able to be more than just the twins mommy.
I had sat down to write this passage trying to think of one significant moment I could really thank her for, but I struggled. I realised I was struggling because Lisa is more than just an aunty. A second mom would better describe what she is to me (the twins even call her nanny Lisa) and she’s been significant in every aspect of my life. From my first holiday, my first job (which she was probably over paying me for), helping me decorate our first home and picking up the twins from nursery every Thursday for a year to allow me to attend college. The most inspirational thing about Lisa is that she has done all this for us while having a family of her own and I am forever grateful.
Nanny Glenda entered my life just three and a half years ago and if I’m honest I was unsure of the relationship we would have. The first two weeks of the twin’s lives were spent in neonatal care and the experience would not have been what it was without this strong-minded woman. She made sure both me and the twins were provided with everything available. I always knew after that I couldn’t have asked for a better woman to be share the role of nan with my mom. I am more than thankful for the relationship we have today and all the memories we have made and will continue to make with Ayden and Avia.
I’m not sure where to start with Laura and that’s probably because I have so much I want to tell you. She’s my older sister but more like my best friend and most importantly my confidante. Luckily for me I’ve had the opportunity to accomplish some of my biggest dreams with her. However, the most significant and most life changing experience I have with Laura is holding hands while all four of our children came into the world. If someone would have told the 15-year-old me, the person I’d look up to the most was my older sister and not Rihanna I’d have definitely thought it was a joke. Of course, I’d have been proven wrong, because here we are 9 years later spending hours and hours on the phone talking about the same things we said at her house yesterday. I’m so glad were on this journey together and I look forward to all we have planned for the four of them and the two of us.
I remember the day Aysia was born. Dad was so excited to bring her home and for everyone and when I say everyone, I mean the whole of South London to meet her. She was tiny, with a head full of hair and loud as hell especially at bath time. Actually, writing this now kind of explains why her daughter is so loud and hates to bathe. Anyway, she’s grown now and as you’ve probably guessed got a child of her own. Before she had Baby Aysia (Malaysia), she basically shared the role of mom with me to the twins and even now she’s more than happy (even though she may complain) to have them while I have a night off. Seriously, I’m so proud of her and without her I most definitely would have gone crazy.
It’s seem weird me writing something like this for Keisha because we’ve probably been ‘soppy’ with each other five times in twenty-three years and even then, no one has ever been able to read it. If I was sure of one thing when I had the twins, it was that she was never going to abandon me, and I was right. She’s still here today, better known as Aunty Keisha to the twins and as calm as ever. Whenever I’m moaning about the twins, her reply is ‘don’t worry Lucia, their just kids and that’s what kids do’ it’s never what I want to hear at the time but she’s 100% right and that’s exactly why I believe she’s going to be the best mommy ever to her bun in the oven. I thank her for putting up with me for all these years and honestly if I could tell you where to find a friend like her, I would because everyone needs a Keisha.
I can’t think back to a time where Sue hasn’t been a part of my life. We aren’t biologically related, but we might as well be. This woman has given me so many opportunities throughout my life and she is the reason I’ve watched a few Wolves games (she’s probably their biggest fan), why I watched the pantomime every year as a child and most importantly why I was able to have a meeting with the probation service just one year into my degree. Having someone as inspirational as Sue to believe in me and my journey to become a forensic psychologist is enough motivation in itself to get myself that cap and gown and I’m forever thankful.
Sunflowers Day Nursery
I couldn’t have written this blog post without recognising the women at Sunflowers Day Nursery. If you’re reading this as a Mom, you will know the importance of finding a nursery that works for you and your children. Sunflowers does exactly that to say the least. Not only do the twins love going but they have supported me while I struggle with Ayden’s constant health struggles and I can’t help but give credit to them whenever someone comments about what smart, out-going children I have, and I couldn’t be more thankful.
So, to all the biological mothers, adoptive mothers, step mothers, foster moms and any women that takes on the role of a mom I wish you all a Happy Mother’s Day. Today is your day so enjoy it and if you’re not getting spoilt like you should be, spoil yourself. You deserve it.
Thank you for reading, make sure to comment and let me know what you’re up to this Mothering Sunday.