Just over 12 months ago. On Wednesday 5thApril 2017, I travelled down to London alone to have my first cosmetic surgery procedure. Three months earlier I had my first consultation at MYA Birmingham. Even before my consultation I was so sure I was going to have my breasts enlarged. Nobody’s opinion was going to change my mind. No one should or can tell you what or what not to do with your body. But of course, going through with surgery without support is irresponsible and, in my opinion, very dangerous. Luckily for me though, I had the support of everyone I chose to tell.
“I knew that having
surgery would be
one of the most selfish
decisions I was going to make…”
During the three months between my first consultation and my surgery date, I constantly browsed the MYA space forum and the internet. I was searching for ways to prepare for surgery with children, hoping to find tips for single mothers I guess. As I knew the only thing that would have stopped me having surgery was being a mother to the twins. But instead, there was loads of women sharing their experiences with the help of their supportive partners. I didn’t have that. So, fortunately my mom took on the role as ‘partner’.
I also knew that having surgery would be one of the most selfish decisions I was going to make as a mother. So, I started preparing early, trying my hardest to make sure my surgery date was convenient for everyone supporting us. The twins, two and a half years old at the time were fully aware I was having surgery and that nanny Sarah was going to live with us for a while. Thankfully surgery went well, and my night spent at the Fitzroy Hospital was as wonderful as it could be. Coming home though was a challenge even after all my pre-surgery preparations.
Before sharing my tips on how to survive your recovery with small children, I should probably tell you guys why I felt surgery was necessary for me.
“I fell even more in love
with my body when I was carrying twins,
my itty-bitty boobit’s were no longer,
and I was living for it.”
I had always been a part of the itty-bitty boobit committee. When I turned 16 or maybe even before I started talking about having my boobs done. My family then were understandably against it. But, then I met my first proper boyfriend who constantly made me feel every inch of my body was perfect. As a result I fell in love with my physical. My body confidence grew more when I was carrying twins. My itty-bitty boobit’s were no longer, and I was living for it. Until I became the village feeder that is. Seriously, I don’t know whether it was the whole I’m going to give my kids the best or the fact I didn’t have a clue what I was going to be left with after feeding them, that kept me feeding them for so long.
“I was left with nothing.
0% breast tissue
Long story short, I was left with nothing. Zero, 0% breast tissue, 100% skin. Honestly, I was fine with it while I was being mom, but when I began to find Lucia again they just weren’t working for me. I felt like less of a woman. And no, I’m not saying that women are defined by how big their assets are but that’s honestly how I felt. You may or may not agree with cosmetic surgery but I’m sure there’s a mommy out there like me considering going through with surgery. Without knowing much or worse, nothing about the recovery process with small children as a lone parent. So here are some of the things I did or wish I had done to survive post-surgery recovery:
1. Support is Key:
You’re going to be unable to do the things you normally do for quite some time. Of course, as a mother you’re not the only one that will be affected by your surgery. So while you need help bathing, using the toilet and preparing dinner. Your children will too, having support for them more than anything is vital. It’s even more beneficial if you get your support to move in with you. I know it’s difficult to ask that of someone, but it’s a massive help.
2. Choose Your Surgery Date Wisely:
You’re not able to do a lot after surgery. The most inconvenient thing for me was driving. The day of surgery I had to make sure there was someone to drop the twins to nursery. Then collect me from the hospital over 137 miles away from home. Pick up the twins from nursery all in just one day. The driving restriction continues so it’s important to have someone prepared to take you to your 7 day post-op appointment and stock up the cupboards when necessary.
3. Prepare Early:
You will need a lot of post-surgery essentials. But, most importantly for a mommy and head of the home you need to get your house and children recovery ready. I made a conscious effort to spring clean the whole house before my surgery date. I had a huge clear out so my mom could keep on top of the cleaning and filled the cupboards. Although I think it’s essential to have your home post-surgery ready. It didn’t quite work out as I’d hope (I explain why in the next point). Something I didn’t do but wish I had done was do the twins hair in cornrow. I know this may seem silly but if you’ve got children with afro hair you’ll understand the struggle.
4. Don’t Expect the World:
Following on from my 3rdpoint, don’t expect too much. I am the first to admit I’m over obsessed with having a clean home. After my surgery I realised I am a nightmare to live with. If your anything like me. I can tell you the ‘mess’ is temporary, the pain is temporary and you’ll be able to have your home your way sooner than you think. Don’t get on your supports back with crazy demands. Them being there for you, moving in, helping you use the toilet, feeding your children in itself is beyond what is expected of anyone especially when your pain is self-inflicted.
5. Tell the Children the Plan:
If your children aren’t old enough to understand then this isn’t an option for you. If they are, don’t hide it from them. Let them know what’s going to happen. You don’t have to tell them “Mummy’s having new boobit’s” but let them know things will be changing for a little while. I told the twins almost everything about my surgery. They knew Nanny Sarah was moving in, Aunty Keisha was picking them up from nursery and mommy was going to be in a lot of pain.
6. No Cuddles Allowed:
In my first consultation I was asked if I had any children, how old they were and if I’d have any support during recovery. I asked why? And was told I wasn’t able to lift anything heavy for 6 weeks. That seems obvious when you think about going to the gym. But when your unable to pick up your babies it’s a little harder to deal with. My mom would pick them up and put them on my lap for a love. Although it wasn’t quite the same it helped a lot.
7. Meal Prep:
This is something I didn’t do. But I really wish I had done. My mom isn’t used to living with us. So if I find it hard cooking nutritious meals and taking care of the three of us then surely she did. I definitely think meal prepping will take a bit of the pressure off of you main support (especially if they aren’t used to it).
8. Your Whole Body will Hurt:
The pain is REAL. While I was doing all my research I read so much times; “it’s not pain, it’s more like the pressure of a baby elephant sitting on your chest”. LOL, sorry I have to laugh. Before surgery I read that thinking “I know if a baby elephant sat on my chest I’d die so know I’m even more terrified”. On a serious note, there’s definitely pressure but there’s also pain. Not just in the breast area either. Your armpits will hurt, your bottom bone hurts (from sleeping up right) and you have to take a lot of medication so don’t let anyone fool you.
9. Listen to the Professionals:
Just relax. Listen to every bit of advice you are given. Four to six weeks may seem like a long time but it flies by. You haven’t paid all of that money, gone through all of that pain and felt all the emotions for your result to be jeopardised because you couldn’t just relax.
10. Recovery Doesn’t Last Forever:
Honestly it doesn’t. Once you stop taking your medication, the pains go away and you’ve had the all clear. You get to clean your house, love your children all while having the boobit’s you’ve always wanted.
Lastly, a lot will change round the home but it doesn’t last forever and it’s worth being prepared for what is to come. Surgery, as well as a lot of others things, are a lot different for a single mother. I believe the things I did along with the things I wish I had done before and during my recovery would have saved me a lot of unnecessary down moments. So, I hope this helps!
Thanks for reading. If you have any questions about my surgery, drop me an email at Luciaamarcus@live.co.uk or contact me on Twitter. And ladies if you have any tips please feel free to share them in the comments.
P.s. Thank you to the whole squad that allowed mission get Lucia new boobit’s happen, I appreciate and love you all.