“You’ll Always Be a Dum B*tch” – Author Threatened.

I should probably start off by acknowledging the elephant in the room. I mean if you haven’t noticed it yet then you will definitely notice it now but dum is spelt wrong. Now you may have thought wow she’s got some balls claiming to be a blogger, she’s even a university student and she can’t spell dum, I mean dumb. But, no. this is actually a quote, a quote I took from a heated text exchange with a man clearly threatened by my intelligence.

“Everything I experience and write is mine to put out there as I wish”

Now, the thing is I wasn’t going to share this blog post because admittedly I still feel quite vulnerable about the situation. Not the text exchange but the situation as a whole. Until I spoke to my sister Laura. She didn’t even mention this blog post but what she did say made me feel like why shouldn’t I share this. She said, “I know your discovering the positives of parenting alone, but you can reach out to more people by writing about more than your life as a mother”. Long story short but I took down my breast enlargement blog because I felt like I was being judged. Anyway, she told me to put it back up and she was right it’s my story. Everything I experience and write is mine to put out there as I wish.

But, back to the quote. I can’t quite seem to get it out my head, it’s ironic because the word used to insult my intelligence is spelt wrong. What gets me though, is the “always be” part. That’s the bit I can’t quite shake off.

 

“My self-worth was based on my appearance, my outer and body rather than what was on the inside”

Growing up, I was never really in touch with my intelligence. I would always down play it because honestly, it wasn’t cool. I was happy to receive c’s and d’s in my GCSE’s because I was more than ok with settling. In my head the way I looked was more important than what I knew. My self-worth was based on my appearance, my outer and body rather than what was on the inside. Anyone who did, had every right to assume I was dumb. Seriously, they’re probably couldn’t have been a better description for me at the time. Especially for those who didn’t truly know me, even now I’m sure someone from my past will read this and be like there’s no way thats the same girl but things have changed, and this is why I’m so annoyed by the “always be” part.

“Everyone other than the narcissist is below the narcissist”

The problem here is that narcissistic people are unable to acknowledge the growth of a person, they believe to be below them and let’s be real everyone other than the narcissist is below the narcissist. But your girl has read a few books, is studying psychology, blogs in her spare time, is raising two very intelligent children and most significantly in relation to this clued up to this psychologically damaging behaviour.

Now I’ve grown through this behaviour but there’s only so much growth you can do while you allow this type of energy to come your way. Seriously ladies, while you might think you can ignore these words or forget what’s been said subconsciously it is affecting you and you don’t need it.

“If ever you have to be a b*tch make sure you’re a bad one”

For the first time ever, my reply to this was “Sir. Goodbye” and that ladies is what we call growth. Even if you have to block and delete, just keep it moving.  If I could tell my younger self anything it would be that “young doesn’t have to mean dumb and even if you are struggling read your way out (literally) it works” and most importantly, “if ever you have to be a b*tch make sure you’re a bad one”.

You'll Always Be a Dum B*itch

You'll Always Be a Dum B*itch

So, to all my younger readers and actually anyone who feels held back. You haven’t got to “always be” anything you don’t want to be. It’s takes some steps towards finding yourself, falling in love with yourself and continuing to evolve.

“Like flowers, we can also choose to bloom” –

the goddesss rebellion

If you had the chance, what would you have told your younger self?

 You'll Always Be a Dum B*itch

TwoofthemOneofme x

P.s when I speak of intelligence I’m not just speaking of intelligence measurable by an IQ test. Emotional intelligence, creative intelligence and existential intelligence are all so very important.

Catch Up On My Last Post

12 thoughts on ““You’ll Always Be a Dum B*tch” – Author Threatened.

  1. An inciteful and honest reflection if only we knew life’s lessons as a teenager but then life would not be such a ride and full of experiences

  2. I think that no matter who you are or how well you know yourself and acknowledge your strengths, hurtful words and spiteful behavior will always have an impact. How you choose to confront that impact is key, either you let it get under your skin, or you walk away stronger. Life hurts often, even more so when you’re a parent. Single parenting twins combined with everything else is an extremely tough job, nowhere is there space for you to doubt how amazing you are. I think if someone told me 10-20 years ago how strong I would end up being today, it wouldn’t have meant a thing back then. I’m also quite sure that in 20 years my self-image will be on yet another planet.. And I know you will see it too yourself 💜

  3. Your blog heading caught our attention. Your article and what you shared captured our hearts. It’s just not ok for anyone to receive messages like this. If only we had a stop button to click so that words could not rumble around our head, replaying over and over again. We can be our own worst enemy, but as you rightly say, we can also be our own advocate by taking a stand and taking control over how we let things impact us.

    1. Thank you so much for your comment, it’s made my day.
      And you too are absolutely right, even when we are aware the control is ours, it takes us a while to let go of the negativity and actively block it out.

  4. Yes, Queen! Narcissists can’t stand to see us living and looking better than when we were with them, they can’t stand to see us happy. So they try to bring us back to a point of vulnerability and use what they know hurts. All mind games. Best response is minimal or no response. They don’t deserve our energy. Good on you for growing so much as a person. We all have the option to change and evolve, but we don’t all take it. But you did, so you are WINNING at life. Keep speaking on your truth.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.