“Why Hasn’t She Moved On Yet?”

Because, honestly, I have no desire to. There’s so many misconceptions about being a single mom and here you can find 14 of the most annoying. But, the most common one is that we’re all desperate to get into a relationship and for someone to save us. I’ve been single for almost three years, and while I think about how amazing it would be to have someone to mow the lawn or take out the bins, I have no plans to get into a relationship. I’m in a relationship with myself. I’m enjoying the journey I’m on, in which I’m becoming the best version of myself. I have never loved myself so much before and I mean that in the least big-headed way possible.

“My future man will be working on

becoming the best version of himself right now”

These three years have taught me the most in terms of what I want for myself, my family and for the man I will eventually let into the Two of them One of me family. In my head my future man will be working on becoming the best version of himself right now and when the time is right we will come together, our energies will match, our needs and wants will reflect one another’s and we will grow beyond what is the best version of ourselves. Now, this may sound fairytale like, but I refuse to settle for anything less than a reflection of the best version of myself.

“If I can help it I won’t let anything,

or anyone hurt them”

I’m also very conscious about the way my children experience happiness and how I want them to look back at the mother I was when they were growing up. I know I won’t always have control over how they experience life. But, I have now. I control pretty much everything that happens to them and if I can help it I won’t let anything, or anyone hurt them.

“I could choose

the wrong person”

The twins wants and needs will always come first. Stability is also key and I will not apply the rule “trial and error” to this aspect of parenting. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so aware that even when I get to a place where I’m sure I’m the best version of myself, I could choose the wrong person. And you could say that the twins will be affected regardless of whether it’s today or in ten years.

“All they would have learnt is

how to un-love someone”

However, me and the twins learn something new about each other everyday. We are all learning how to love each other effectively. And, that’s why I have no desire to move on in a way that society suggests I should. Before I know it, we’re three stepdads down the line and all they would have learnt is how to un-love someone and have hate in their heart. I’ve seen it one to many times and seriously, that’s my biggest fear. I refuse to be that mom. I refuse to let anyone ruin what the three of us have, and I refuse to let anyone change the way my children view me, how they view life and especially how they view love.

“She still not over

the twin’s father”

I’ve heard it far too many times, “She’s not moved on yet, she must still be hooked on children’s dad”. And while at times I think to myself wow it’s been a while, or I could really do with someone washing my back (the twins broke my back brush). I will not be pressured into “moving on”. And, neither should anyone else.

“I’m willing to end

up like anything”

You could say who wants to be 70 and alone, and I’d say who wants a daughter that settles for less then she deserves and a son who disregards women’s feelings because that’s all he knows. For the sake of the twin’s mental well being, I’m willing to end up “alone”. As well as that though, I, myself am in the process of piecing my heart back together, focusing on my mental and physical health and building back my confidence from where it was left on the ground. There’s no timeline for love, when it’s meant to be it will be, on gods timing of course and god knows neither I nor the twins are ready to introduce a man into our home.

“But don’t ever feel the

pressure of societal norms”

So, ladies learn to love yourself first, work on you and your family. Figure out what kind of man you want in yours and your children’s lives. And then “move on”. But don’t ever feel the pressure of societal norms or picture-perfect families to get into a relationship or worse stay with or go back to someone who isn’t for you mentally, physically or spiritually, just for the sake of not being alone.


Moved On


12 thoughts on ““Why Hasn’t She Moved On Yet?”

  1. Loving yourself and putting your kids first you will never go wrong. What is for you will never pass you by. Don’t be phased by what people say girl. Good on you❤❤❤ loved this post! X

  2. I relate to this post on a spiritual level girl! I was a single mom dating and it was hard I was single a long time and when I did date I told them upfront I have a child. This is me checking you out for us to see if you fit with us, I’m not dating to just date I want to be married some day. Some men ran.. them wasn’t the ones 🤷🏾‍♀️ The man god had for me came when it was time my daughter was 10 years OLD! I was ready to be single forever lol but it just takes time and I applaud you and your choice it’s beautiful this post is amazing your blog is full of rich Content I truly love the subjects you tackle.

    1. I’m so glad you can relate.
      And I’m so in love with your story! You waited out and got the man for you and your daughter, that’s truly something beautiful. After reading your comment I’m even more sure about my choice to wait it out!
      Thank you so very much Shayla 💕💕

  3. Beautifully written girl! You’re definitely making a future king & Queen…nothing less. Your openness is admirable. Great read once again.

  4. Gorgeous post. We are whole without a man, we are complete without a man. Take as long as you need, sis, the relationship with self is the most important one. And when you’re ready, whenever or if ever that time comes, please know the fairytale man exists. But make him wait, init?

  5. Hey beautiful.

    I love and appreciate your openess. It encourages me to tell my story. When I saw your picture online I was like wow you make having twins look so easy and you’re doing it by yourself. Girl when your husband meets you he will be a very blessed man indeed.

    Stay true to who you are and do what is best for you and your babies.

    P.S I am so jealous of your twins they are absolutely gorg 😍😍

    1. Hey girl,
      Thank you so much for this comment! Honestly it isn’t so easy but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I hope so, he’s out there somewhere🤣

      Haha, thanks on their behalf, they love a compliment 💕☺️

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