The Boy is Mine Part 2.

Guys, do you remember the girl I mentioned in The Boy is Mine- Part 1? Well, I’ve been that girl too. If you haven’t read part 1 yet, I’d recommend you do before continuing. It’s crazy because while I knew I wanted to talk about being ‘that girl’. The girl that does the whole ‘he’s my man’ thing. It was a comment I received on Part 1 that solidified the fact I had to address ‘being that girl’. The comment basically said the lyrics of the song could also encourage girls to confront the other woman (shout out to Mercedes for that comment by the way).

Now, I’m going to be so real in this post and tell you that I was once that girl, actually in my opinion I was worse than that. I’d love to sit here and tell you that once I found out, I was one of many that I ran as far away as possible. But I can’t, because I stayed around like a sucker for punishment. Honestly, you’d think I enjoyed being hurt. But, it gets even worse. Even after I had ended things I just couldn’t let go. I slightly mentioned this in “Ending One Chapter to Start Another”.

“It added fuel to the fire”

But, first I need to take you back, like way back. As much as I hate too, I can’t really tell you how I was ‘that girl’ without doing that, so here goes. Before and during my pregnancy, I went through the most in terms of mental abuse. I loved being pregnant, like freakishly loved it. I enjoyed pregnancy that much, I wondered why everyone would complain. What I didn’t love however, was the constant abuse I received from this girl (the girl I mentioned in “Black Enough”). Honestly, every time I received a phone call wishing bad things on me and my unborn babies or my Nan receiving phone calls consisting of obscenity shouting. It would add fuel to the fire. The only thing holding me back was carrying the twins. I mean, this was supposed to be the most stress-free time in my life. And as for cussing bad words to my Nan, well that made me vex. Listen guys, I was waiting for the perfect moment to retaliate.

“I didn’t start this blog to put on a facade”

I can’t continue without saying I don’t condone any sort of violence unless it’s absolutely necessary (don’t @ me). But, I’m sharing this because I didn’t start this blog to put on a facade. I’m human, I get angry and, in the past, I’ve acted out in ways I shouldn’t have. A part of me but not all of me, I’ll be honest is ashamed to say when I snapped back nothing could hold me back. In hindsight it wasn’t the best thing to do, actually it was irresponsible and irrational. But, it is what it is.

Long story short (inserts side eyes here) but no, if I ever get the chance to publish an autobiography I’ll tell you the whole story start to finish and if I die before that (god forbid I don’t) just hit up Laura and Keisha for the tea. Anyway, I happened to come into contact with the girl in question. Don’t get me wrong I had no intentions of being civil and that’s exactly what I wasn’t, civil.

“I didn’t regret it”

I’ll put my hands up and say I resembled something of an animal. At the time I felt as though I was having an outer body experience, my visibility was weak, and all the emotion and rage just came out and I saw red. It’s even more crazy because I didn’t regret it until I had called my friend Harpreet to tell him what had happened. Expecting him to be on my side. He says “that’s disgusting, you went looking for trouble” in utter shock I replied trying my hardest to defend myself, but he continued to tell me my actions weren’t justifiable.

And, boy was he right. I mean I can’t lie and say I regret it because I don’t regret anything. I also believe that everything happens for a reason. But, I can tell you the altercation didn’t change anything. It didn’t make me feel better about the situation, it did nothing for me. At the time, I thought my retaliation was a result of all the things that had occurred while I was pregnant. Now, looking back I was just sour. I still had the mindset of a broken women and seeing them together made me feel like I had lost. The thought of other people seeing them together made me sick because I was just so embarrassed.

The Boy is Mine Part 2

“I’m loving this blogging thing, if you haven’t noticed”

I can’t even begin to tell you how much I’ve grown as a person. I really think I had to experience all these f*@ked up things to appreciate what I have now. And what I have now is true happiness. I have two wonderful, slightly hyperactive but amazing children. I graduate from university next year. I’m loving this blogging thing, if you haven’t noticed. The future is bright guys. But, truthfully, I did not feel like I’d experience happiness like I do now, before I let all the negativity go.

The Boy is Mine Part 2

  I can sit here and write about my experience and tell you that it’s better not to react at all. But, I for one know that’s easier said than done. I really had to deep the issues I had. First of all, little miss hot head the issue isn’t the other woman, it’s the man and most likely your own insecurities. I also held a lot in for a long time. My anger should have been vented elsewhere. In hindsight, your girl could have ended up in a lot of trouble. For something that I could of slept on and got over.

I’ve said this before but it’s so important to think about what you want in life, what’s the next step and what do you want for you and your family. Since I’ve been focusing on the end goal, nothing bothers me anymore. All the things I was once triggered by, passes me by like I’m walking on air.

If I could tell the person I was when I went to retaliate one thing it would be:

“Don’t give anyone the power to f%^k up your hopes and dream,

just kill them with success Queen”

I shouldn’t have ever got so caught up in such foolery but if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to tell you guys all about it. I hope I’m able to stop at least one of you queens from making such a decision (I know some of you are crazy, stop fronting lol). No, but seriously please don’t make the same mistake. By the way I still have bad days and feel down about things. Even though I’ve got this point of happiness, healing is a process. And no matter how much you try to make sure nothing brings you down someone, something will always try and hinder your journey whether it be intentional or not.

Even while trials will be sent your way, you’ve got to keep your head up.

The Boy is Mine Part 2

Here’s some tips if ever you let your crown slip:

1. STAY FOCUSED

2. SET YOURSELF GOALS

3. PRACTICE SELF LOVE (IT’S IMPORTANT)

4. CUT OFF EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING THAT BRINGS YOU DOWN

5. SPEAK TO SOMEONE OR START A JOURNAL

The Boy is Mine Part 2

Love,

TwoofthemOneofme x

5 thoughts on “The Boy is Mine Part 2.

  1. Love this! And the tips!! Starting a journal saved me life! It’s the most therapeutic thing ever! I feel like dedicating a post to it lol

  2. Haha absolutely love this! I think your FAR from being alone in terms of being ‘that girl’ I feel like it’s a lot more common than people think nowadays. From my experience I learned that ‘it’s not us’! I spent a lot of time putting myself down because of how someone else treated me. I felt stupid for staying around hoping things would change, I would still GIVE to that person and as much as they continued to hurt me I couldn’t hurt them and that was ‘OK’ cause it meant I wasn’t allowing their actions to change myself as a person. That being said enough is ENOUGH and I learned to give that love to myself instead and I’m 1000x happier for it. Who’s got time to stress/cry over someone who doesn’t value and appreciate me anyways? Lol
    I think we have to go through these things to make us stronger, horrible as it is, we’re still here, raising children, doing amazing things for ourselves and our kids, us women go through so much, best thing I’ve learned from my career is ‘reflection’ it’s something I HAD to do for uni and when I start my job, but I also use it for everyday life, I think it’s so important, there are certain past situations that I can talk about now that will STILL upset me, and that’s cause as you said it’s a ‘healing process’ some things will take more time than others. The main thing is that we’re making progress ☺️.

    I’d definitely say it also helps to focus on YOURSELF, maybe even take a social media break (cause you know when your in love and you’ve just been left for another woman you be on social media looking for a sign that the love for you is still there 👀) DONT DO IT TO YOURSELF!
    😂 #lifelessons #whensomeoneshowsyoutheydontcareBELIEVETHEM!
    #actionsspeaklouderthanwords

    Rant over haha xx

    1. Mercedes, your always coming through with the thorough comments and I LOVE IT. Everything you’ve said is spot. And it’s amazing being able to connect on a level which wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t start blogging. Also shouts out to you for being a strong single mom boss and going through the healing process because it takes guts 💪🏽🙌🏽

      Thanks again for not just the comment but for the support, I saw you’ve subscribed 👀 and I appreciate it loads.

      – While I’m here, if you don’t mind I’m going to send you an email about the new series I’ve got coming here, I’d love to get you involved 🤞🏽

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